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Bully bother
Many people are subject to bullying, adults as well as children, but the younger generation are now subject to a new manner of intimidation.
By Frances Holman
I have just watched the news to hear that 34 per cent of 12 – 15yr olds are subject to bullying in the UK. I am not sure whether the figures are as high here in Portugal.
There are many forms of bullying and it can start at any age, pre-school included. Most of those who bully in the traditional sense are subject to bullying themselves, by parents/carers or older children, and are simply acting out the behaviours shown to them. Whilst this is extremely upsetting for the child being bullied it is easier to deal with as the bully is known and so can be dealt with.
There is a new form of bullying now that is rapidly increasing, which is more dangerous in its impact on the victim and much more difficult to eradicate. Mobile phones and computers have made it possible for the bully to remain anonymous and for there to be no escape for the victim. Whereas before going home could mean that the torment would cease now all their “safe” space is invaded. Modern technology is essential for our child to complete their school work but it is also opening up the possibility for them to be bullied by unidentifiable individuals or groups.
What can be done?
If you suspect that your child is being bullied then it is really important to get them to talk to someone they can trust, this may not be you, as they may being feeling ashamed that they have allowed this to happen to them.
It is very important to reassure them that they are not to blame and that you will do your best to bring the perpetrators to light so they can be appropriately dealt with. There is nearly always a fear by the victim that exposure will increase the bullying so this needs to be handled sensitively. It is important to remember that both the bully and the bullied require our help.
www.bullying.co.uk
www.childline.org.uk
Many people are subject to bullying, adults as well as children, but the younger generation are now subject to a new manner of intimidation.
By Frances Holman
I have just watched the news to hear that 34 per cent of 12 – 15yr olds are subject to bullying in the UK. I am not sure whether the figures are as high here in Portugal.
There are many forms of bullying and it can start at any age, pre-school included. Most of those who bully in the traditional sense are subject to bullying themselves, by parents/carers or older children, and are simply acting out the behaviours shown to them. Whilst this is extremely upsetting for the child being bullied it is easier to deal with as the bully is known and so can be dealt with.
There is a new form of bullying now that is rapidly increasing, which is more dangerous in its impact on the victim and much more difficult to eradicate. Mobile phones and computers have made it possible for the bully to remain anonymous and for there to be no escape for the victim. Whereas before going home could mean that the torment would cease now all their “safe” space is invaded. Modern technology is essential for our child to complete their school work but it is also opening up the possibility for them to be bullied by unidentifiable individuals or groups.
What can be done?
If you suspect that your child is being bullied then it is really important to get them to talk to someone they can trust, this may not be you, as they may being feeling ashamed that they have allowed this to happen to them.
It is very important to reassure them that they are not to blame and that you will do your best to bring the perpetrators to light so they can be appropriately dealt with. There is nearly always a fear by the victim that exposure will increase the bullying so this needs to be handled sensitively. It is important to remember that both the bully and the bullied require our help.
www.bullying.co.uk
www.childline.org.uk
Indicators of possible bullying
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Wariness of going to school
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Not eating or comfort eating
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Jumpy when mobile phone rings
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Withdrawn, isolating
themselves from other young people |
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Unexplained tummy aches and the like
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School work suffering
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Lack of concentration
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Irrational mood swings
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Those most likely to be targeted by bullies
Any youngster who is seen by their peers as different. This includes:
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Being brighter than or not as bright as others.
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Being overweight, much
taller or shorter than the norm. |
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Reaching puberty much later, or earlier, than peer group.
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Wearing the wrong brand,or no brand, of clothes
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Those with parents in the
“wrong” sort of job, for example: police, teacher, social worker |
Those most likely to bully
There is no standard identity of a bully but signs to watch for would include those who:
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Are physically stronger than others and constantly flout authority
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Have been bullied
themselves, possibly by older siblings or carers |
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Those with poor self esteem and wanting to hide behind a physical display over control and dominance
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